just a qn
Saturday, April 10, 2004
let me pose a qn to whoever is reading this... Do please let me know how you guys feel towards this qn.....
would you rather choose to be with the person you love and who loves you just as much but who fails to understand you...
Or would you rather be with someone whom you dun love as much but who loves you more than anything else in the world and understands you in and out?
i will understand if most of you choose the latter... i will too.. I'm only human. I'm only selfish. I dun wannna put in too much. I wanto protect myself and yet be loved as much. I wanto be loved more than i love and i want soemone who understands me.. someone who can support me and give me the right amt of space i crave and need.
but how many of us can actually find such a person? The person whom will understand you well enough like a soul mate.. whom will love you unconditionally without qualms or expectations? Someone who will never let or put you down and will never misunderstand your intentions or doubt your actions or your words? Even if we did... How sure are we that this person will never leave our side or have a change of heart? and how well can we treasure and love the person for her to stay by our side for all times?
For ppl who have chosen the earlier... I salute you. YOU guys are the "someone" whom i have been talking abt int he earlier paragraph. Yet, as humane as you are.. How long can you tolerate not being understood or even being misunderstood? and when you need a shoulder to cry on.. or just that empathetic, forebearing nod.. Who could you lean on or turn to? doesn't it break your heart to know that the one you love.. is ignorant and unappreciative of you?
Me?
I just happen to not be either that "someone" or that "one"...
I'm the one who was chosen to be in a relationship which i was expected to be the latter.. but in the actual fact,i turned out to be the earlier.
08:47 p.m.
gloomy doom
Saturday, April 10, 2004
things are starting to turn from good to bad.. and soon from bad to worse.. and later.. DOOMSDAY.
Pretty expected. Don't all good things come to and end? or should i feel fortunate that it took..2 weeks before all good things to come to a halt and die down to pain old misery again
soemhow i fel that i should be grateful. Of well... Seems like i'm all prepared and felling all so nochalant rite? rite.. because i've gone thru this more than once.. this time round will be different. WHy? Becoz i know what to expect.. what dramatic scenes will unfold and what hurtful words exchanged.. They always say it's part and parcel of life..i so beg to differ. If we dun fall in love.. if we aren't sensitive creatures.. If we aren't gullible and trusting fools.. How can we ever land ourselves up in disgusting sickening shit?WE love to fall into shit because we are all bloody suckers who nid that extra bitterness in our lifes to make our lifes more "entertaining" Humans... we are alll just losers . Sadistic morons with insane ideas abt the four letter wors "love". WHich to me.. is nothing but trouble. And more looming trouble.
tsk
let the rain pour.
05:26 p.m.
God save me
Wednesday, April 7, 2004
i'm totally in love with my new phone. Although it has already been a week or 2 since i got it....i still adore it. I smply adore my chic posh looking tai tai 7200...
JEALOUS PPL??? hahah.. kind contributions from her*. well.. nowadays.. we're alot better... ha.. but we still quarrel like nobody's biz.. bickering non-stop. WHat's new..
BIE's birthday is just around the corner. and i still haven got the jijsaw..I'M SO DEAD!!!!!!!
not forgetting the fact that i'm super dumb.. adn so not very patient to piece the puzzle together...
GOD save me pleeaasse
11:21 p.m.
Go eat some shite
Monday, March 29, 2004
it's been quite a long time since i blogged. But i dunno why i'm actually blogging tonight when i'm already dead tired and my eye-bags are seriously more conspicuous than my mole???
yup.. something's bothering me again. I'm not mentioning names.. because it would only stain my blog. Let's just say I FEEEL SO BLLLOOOOOOOOODDDDDYYY PISSSSSSED reason??? i dunno.. no reason. Maybe it's due to insecurities. How manipulation and sugary sickening words could actually blind someone to the point of being stupid... OMIGOD. i'm disgusted. I'm gaggin as i'm writing this. WHy did i btoher to get myself so worked up when it's seriously none of my biz whatsoever????
that bloody blistering badgering sod could lay her charms again. ANd i bet she'll succeed. And when she succeeds in doing all the nasty "thrilling" pankering, i'm once again left with nothing. Dun blame me for being such a cynic pessimist. It happened once, NOBODY CAN EVER GUARRENTEE IT WUN HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!
i'm sorry. i loathe and despise her. ANd all her blind followers. You guys can all burn in hell.
10:54 p.m.
Wednesday, March 3, 2004
Heart of Stone
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
Dun ask me... i'm pretty shocked myself.. Must be the most recent breakup that's why...
Sheesh
11:16 p.m.
exhausted
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Kinda tired.. Not actually i SHOULD be very tired.. As i'm typing this.. my mind's a blank yet again. I feel a lil melancholic now... my heart's a lil heavy.. My eyelids dangerously closing. i should be happy...We're talking even more when we're together and i haf a mummy who loves me more than she loves herself..
But deep down.... something's missing....
i really dunno what it is... def not love. i dun need love at this point of time....
i think sleep is what i need.. Buaizz
09:43 p.m.
Test
Tuesday, February 24, 2004 
What attracts people to you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Spent last evening with her....Good good feeling.. Not a feeling of love or anything.. but we're really talking like friends??! No bitter feelings.. Just basically asking each other The "WHat if" questions to kill time.. Ha.. And she told me her future gf must be stupider than her! HAHAHHA....
Cool... I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Really.. It feels alot better now.. No committments.. Jus friends chilling out together.. I like it
12:00 p.m.
EVIL me
Monday, February 23, 2004
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
Hell hath no fury.. Like a woman's scorn.
how very true...
I just realised that after being with her for the past year... Regardless whether there is still love or not..I'm so much happier alone.
what struck me?
i dunno.. to me.. we're over and done with. SHe's my ex.. and i'm her ex.. It's hard.. but i dun see the point of holding on ... Call me heartless..But.. it's true.
maybe my heart was jux hurt too badly
12:51 p.m.
SUNDAY
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Sunday is supposed to be a stress free day.. BUT I"M FEELING SO STRESSED!!!
sunday is my new found stress-ful day... Coz i've got to teach the 2 Sec 4 gals.. And i'm totally clueless abt what to teach.....
Bwahhhhhaaa
and i call myself a tutor.. WhAT a bIG FaT JoKe!??
gonna sleep first.. after tuition.. i'm so gonna paint the town red!
this blogger feels.....||TIRED||
01:17 p.m.
Tired
Saturday, February 21, 2004
i'm Pretty tired.... Very exhausted.. And extremely drained..
What could really ease my tensed mind would be a lovely large glass of Bacardi Breezer, Peach (lotsa ICE pls), a fag.. and my comfy bed..
lllllUUUUrrrVVVeeLLyyy
05:55 p.m.